Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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