I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
