i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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