4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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