i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
