dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
