I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
