she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
