either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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