Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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