stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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