And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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