It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
