when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
