I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
