so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
