Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I wear drunk well.
Randomize