He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My penis needs a shock collar
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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