The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it's like iHOP with fire
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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