Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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