He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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