i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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