we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
