So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just found puke in my bra..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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