He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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