I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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