Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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