Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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