Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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