I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
