Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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