So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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