My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize