There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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