I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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