Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
