wanna go halves on a baby?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
