I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think my moral compass just broke
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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