from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
