is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
