He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize