someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
