yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize