Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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