I faked an abortion last night.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
