last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
