we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
