god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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