she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You ruined the universe
Randomize
