i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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