I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
