if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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