Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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