Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
