In the future we'll all be gay
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
