I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
