I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
