then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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