We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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