So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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