Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
