He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
