Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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