Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
