I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
