I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
my poor anus
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
