Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
