Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
