Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
