afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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