Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
