I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
