So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize